TRADITIONS Archive

Benefits of Pre-Marital Counseling.

Marriage Quote

Save the date. Pick a Venue. Flowers. Dress. Color scheme. Seating Chart. Bridesmaids. Groomsmen. DJ. Rehearsal dinner. Photos. The list goes on! It’s no wonder that in the midst of planning the biggest event of your life that the relationship itself can sometimes get lost in the mix. I know for me, there were many times in my engagement season that I felt distant and disconnected from my fiancé. So much so that after our rehearsal dinner I BEGGED him to go to Walmart with me to pick up an extension cord we needed last minute just so we would have 20 minutes alone to connect! So how do we not only plan for an incredible wedding, but also for an incredible marriage?? It takes intention. Investing time in premarital therapy not only creates space for connecting during your engagement season but also helps you lay the groundwork for the commitment you are making in “I do!”

1. Get to know your strengths!

All couples have strength and growth areas. In pre-marital therapy, I love to highlight your strengths and really get to know how they work. What makes your relationship feel safe, supportive and connected? These strengths are the key to navigating the highs and lows ahead. By really understanding what makes your relationship feel solid, it will be easier for you in the future to identify where you might be feeling stuck or disconnected.

2. Guide through the rocky places!

Conflict is often seen as being a sign of something being wrong with the relationship. In fact, conflict and disagreement are common in both healthy and unhealthy couples. The difference sits in your ability to work through it in a way that is effective. As they prepare for marriage, many couples are wrestling with tougher topics like finances, sex, family, etc. I like to help couples have these conversations in a way that leaves them feeling like they were both heard and have accomplished something for their relationship. The transition into marriage is sometimes a trying time for a relationship and can bring with it unexpected challenges. By setting aside time during the engagement season to invest in your relationship, you are working together to try and foresee potential tough spots and come up with a plan for how to handle them.

3. Resource for the future!

By the time a couple has gone through pre-marital therapy, I know the ins and outs of their relationship. The benefit of this lasts longer than just pre-marital therapy itself. Life inevitably will bring challenges and in those times, it is helpful to know that you have someone to turn to, someone you already trust. I like to think of it like a family doctor who sees their patients from childhood through to adulthood. By having an established relationship with a therapist, it means that you can come in for check ups throughout the life of your marriage. It helps me have a context for how to best help you and helps you to bypass the “getting to know you” phase of therapy and get any help you need quickly.

The wedding day is just the beginning! Give your relationship the time and attention it deserves for you both to feel happy, healthy, and connected long after the “I do’s”! For more information on pre-marital therapy, you can check out my website. CONGRATS! And best wishes on your exciting journey ahead!!

 Posted by Mariah McQueen

http://www.mariahmcqueen.com/ 

Love quote

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Traditions Explored: Part Five

Well beauties we have made it through some of our favorite traditions and learned their curious beginnings. Now its time for one of my favorite traditions the somethings…

The Somethings

Old

Represents the bride’s connection with her past and the life she had with her family. Most commonly a treasured family heirloom.

vintage-bridal-bouquet-with-broach

New

This is something fresh to start the bride’s new life with. It represents her new future with her husband.

somethingnewPhotography : Nattnee Photography

Borrowed

This is a reminder to the bride that her family will always be there for her because when you borrow something you must return it. It is customary to borrow something from a parent as they are usually closest to you.

somethingborrowed Photography: Esther Sun

Blue

In biblical times, blue represented purity so carrying this color with you symbolized your innocence. Many brides use a blue bow on their garter as a simple touch.

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And a Silver Sixpence in your shoe

The silver sixpence represents future wealth and is a good luck charm to start your new married life with.

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Well there they are! Thank you for exploring some of our favorite traditions with us. Now its your time to share! Tell us how you made (or how you will) make these traditions your own!

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Traditions Explored: Part Four

Here we are again lovelies! We have almost made it through our list of favorite wedding traditions.

The White Wedding Dress

In 1840, Queen Victoria strayed from simply wearing a bride’s best dress to the wedding but chose to wear white because it was her very favorite lace. She wrote in her diary: “I wore a white satin dress with a deep flounce of Honiton lace, an imitation of an old design, and my jewels…” She set the standard of the time, for only the wealthy could afford to wear white and due to the colors connection with purity it has remained one of the most well-known traditions of our day.

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Photography: Max Wanger

The Bouquet Toss

During the 14th century, the French guests at weddings would traditionally tear the bride’s dress to shreds immediately after the ceremony. They did this during the medieval times because having a piece of the dress was considered lucky. This changed into the groom throwing the bride’s garter to keep the crowd at bay but before long the throwing of the bouquet was seen as a more appropriate solution. Luckily, we have continued both traditions today and still seen catching them as a symbol of luck for the receiver.

bouquettoss

Photography: Tanja Lippert

 The First Dance

During formal balls, the first dance was always held by the guests of honor, often royalty or the wealthy. In France, during the 17th century, the minuet was always the newlywed’s first song while in Victorian Britain; a quadrille was entertainment for the guests. Now it is the bride and grooms responsibility to choose a song that represents their love and story.

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Photography: Phenom Photographers

 

 

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