We can plan the perfect wedding: find the best venue, coordinate the most fabulous vendors, and make sure the decor and details are impeccable. We can even make sure the dress fits like a glove (with help from alterations). And while all of this could be beyond perfect there are still unknown variables that we can not control. As much as we wish we could and many of couples wish we could (and sometimes even have the delusional belief that we can) sadly we can not.
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Things that we can not control (believe it, or not):
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1. Weather-
Yes, we have been yelled at by brides and grooms because the weather wasn’t perfect. Or they call and ask us time and time again about the weather? We get phone calls from all kinds: The out of town couple- “Do you think it’s going to rain on our wedding day?” The Temecula couple- “Do you think it will be too hot?” The La Jolla couple- “Will it be foggy or hazy on our wedding day? What time will the marine layer disappear?”
While we wish we knew… this is something that is completely out of our hands. We are not God or weather men- your guess is as good as ours. All we can do is wish for the best and always have a plan b ready!
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2. Family and Bridal Party-
Your family members play a huge roll in the atmosphere of the wedding day. These are the people who love you the most and whom you care about the most but they may not always say the right thing or do the right thing on your special day. There have been many times where I wished I could stop words from coming out of someones mouth or put the words back in their mouth… or YELL… “they didn’t mean that” but I can’t. Most family and friends don’t understand how sensitive brides are on this day. Many brides have expectations and most of them are unspoken and one great piece of advice that I have for all of our brides is SPEAK UP. If you have expectations or an idea of what you want your getting ready time to be like or how your bridesmaids will act, or what you want your mom to do- SAY IT BEFORE THE WEDDING DAY.
While we wish we could put beautiful words into your families mouths and give your bridesmaids a selfless servants heart just for one day. We can’t. The actions and words of your family and bridal party are their responsibility. We do our best to make sure that the atmosphere is positive, fun, and loving. And we always offer support and solutions to any problems that do arise. The biggest thing is to let the words or actions of others on your wedding day (those other than love, joy, and happiness) roll right off your back… only soak in the good stuff and keep smiling! That special day really can be the happiest day of your life… if you choose to make it that!
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3. Alcohol Intake-
We can’t begin to tell you how many brides ask us to please monitor the alcohol intake of the groom, groomsmen, or a family member. While we can CUT THEM OFF when they have gone too far. We can’t regulate when or how they get to that point. We have no control over what the groomsmen bring to the getting ready room or even more commonly what happened the night before.
We know this can be a hard one to talk about with your partner because they are having fun with their friends, you want to let him do their thing. But in the long run, trust me… it’s much better for you to say something prior to the wedding day then asking us to regulate on that special day. Somehow it has never greatly accepted, when we ask them to slow down or hold back a little on the drinks. It only seems to egg them on more, to drink more, and to prove that they are in control and NOT US. haha… well, you don’t need to prove anything to us. That is one thing that we know we can’t control.
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We find it funny that when a family member says the wrong thing, a groomsmen drinks too much, or it sprinkles…. we are to blame because “we should have had it under control”. And while some of you reading this think that THIS IS CRAZY! Let me be the first to tell you- IT HAPPENS.
We are not in complete control, be prepared for the unknown variables, laugh through it! Soak in every good, special, and perfect moment and forget about any bad! It’s not worth dwelling on or trying to find someone to blame. Instead ENJOY EVERY MOMENT.
We see it time after time… there are those who let the small stuff get to them and then there are those who are so IN LOVE and TRUST that we have done all that we can to make their day THE BEST DAY POSSIBLE and who truly know and believe that we are on the same team. A few rain drops can only BREAK your day if you let them. If you believe it is the BEST DAY EVER rain or shine, selfish or selfless bridesmaids, drunk or sober friends- IT WILL BE. Remember the guests want it to be an amazing day for the couple too. So if they see them happy, they will be happy! We will make it the best day possible and control all that we can but know that we aren’t in complete control. If we are being honest, things are bound to go wrong… brush it off and stay focused on the prize… being married at the end of day to the love of your life! A wedding day is a great test of true character and love for each other.